


Magic Tricks

by Runic



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, M/M, felifay made me do it, human Jarvis - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-11
Updated: 2013-02-18
Packaged: 2017-11-18 11:12:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/560413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Runic/pseuds/Runic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sleeping with Loki was probably a mistake. Sleeping with Loki and Jarvis after the Trickster gave the AI his own body...yeah, that was definitely a mistake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felifay from tumblr wanted a Tony/Loki/Jarvis story, and because she is the Tony to my Jarvis I wrote one for her. Okay, that's probably a weird way to put things, especially with what happens in this story. Someone should probably take my keyboard away.

“Good afternoon, sir.”

Tony grunted and rolled over. “Too early, Jar. Let me sleep.”

“It is 3:47 in the afternoon, sir. And there’s been a development I believe you should be made aware of.”

Tony sighed, rolled back over, and opened his eyes. There was someone in his bed, someone he did not recognize. Okay, what had happened last night? He been drunk, but not that drunk. He had run into Loki, bought him a drink, and they’d come home for a rather fun and interesting night. He was certain they had not brought anyone back with them. “Who are you?”

“Sir, it’s me, Jarvis.”

Well the voice was certainly the same as his AI’s. Everything else was different, such as Jarvis having a flesh and blood body. Tony sat up and threw the covers off himself, ignoring his own nakedness. “What the hell?”

“Mr. Liesmith attempted to wonder throughout the Tower last night. He did not take kindly to me when I tried to stop him,” Jarvis said, seemingly not bothered by Tony’s state of undress. He had seen enough over the years not to be truly bothered by anything Tony did anymore.

“Shit, Loki!” Loki had turned his AI into a human. How was that even possible? Fuck, he really hated magic. “Where is he?”

“In the kitchen with Mr. Rogers. He has currently taken on a female form and is posing as one of your conquest so Mr. Rogers is unaware of his true identity.”

Tony stared at the man, taking in his dark gold hair and bright blue eyes. He was rather attractive actually. He should be questioning his rather random appearance, but for some reason it made perfect sense to him that the man was Jarvis. “You still have access to all the house systems?”

The blond man nodded. “I do.”

“I see you are finally awake.” Tony turned to see a beautiful dark haired woman at the door. As she walked toward him her features shifted in a way that was both enticing and disturbing, until Loki was standing before him.

“What’d you do to my AI?”

Loki raised an eyebrow. “Is it not obvious?” He crawled onto the bed, but ignored Tony. He knelt next to human Jarvis and placed a hand on the back of his neck. The other slid up the former AI’s muscular chest. “I like him better like this. I was going to change him back after awhile, but now I don’t think I will. I made him a much too beautiful body to destroy.” And Loki leaned in to kiss Jarvis. The AI’s eyes flew open, but he quickly responded, moaning deeply and wrapping his arms around the Trickster.

Tony was struck speechless. It was hot, so very, very hot. He had become half hard already just from watching the two men kiss.

Loki broke away from Jarvis. He looked over his shoulder, grinning wickedly at Tony. “Jarvis,” he said seductively, caressing the AI’s cheek, “do you still desire to serve your master?”

Jarvis looked between the two other men before nodding. “That is my purpose.”

Loki’s grin grew, and Tony felt a shiver of desire run through his whole body. “Then come. You have much to learn.”

Oh this was a bad idea. This was a very, very bad idea. And Tony wasn’t about to stop it.

Loki moved from Jarvis’ side to pull Tony into a heated kiss. The inventor was left breathless when the god pulled away to settle between his legs. “Pay attention, Jarvis,” Loki ordered. “There will be a test after your lesson.”

“I have seen sir both give and receive this act many times,” the AI said even as he shifted closer to Tony to get a better view.

Loki hmmed softly, his warm breath caressing Tony. “Of course you have, my dear. But there is only so much one can understand when they cannot experience such pleasures for themselves.” And with that Loki placed a soft kiss on the tip of Tony’s cock, licking away drops of pre-cum before wrapping his lips around the tip. That absolutely wicked tongue took no time at all in pulling delicious moans from the inventor’s mouth.  

As Loki continued to take more of Tony into his mouth Tony managed to turn his head to look at Jarvis. The AI was watching with rapt attention, not seeming to have noticed his own growing erection. Tony reached out to encircle it with a calloused hand, making the other man gasp. When Loki flicked his tongue against the tip of Tony’s cock Tony rubbed his thumb against Jarvis’. When Loki swirled his tongue Tony mimicked the motion with his fingers. And when Loki finally took all of Tony into his mouth Tony began to pump Jarvis in earnest.

It didn’t take long for Jarvis to spill into Tony’s hand with a loud moan. Tony felt Loki grin around him. He lifted his fingers to Jarvis’ mouth and the AI began to obediently lick them clean. He was tentative at first, but quickly grew bolder, moaning sinfully around Tony’s fingers. Between the attention to his cock and hand it wasn’t long before Tony reached his own climax. He laid back breathing heavily as Loki finally lifted his head, licking a drop of Tony’s come from his lips.

 “I do hope you did not believe we were done,” Loki whispered, placing a kiss on Tony’s knee before focusing his attention on Jarvis. The god positioned them so that he was propped up against the pillows with Jarvis between his spread legs, then leaned down to kiss the AI. It was hot and heavy, hands slid over flesh, grasping at each other in an attempt to pull the other closer.

Jarvis threw his head back when Loki slipped an oil covered finger inside him. Where had Loki gotten oil? Probably more magic, but Tony was pretty sure he could learn to live with this kind. Loki flashed him a grin that was both mocking and inviting. That’s all it took for him to move behind Jarvis and pull the man into a kiss while Loki continued to stretch him. The Trickster added another finger inside Jarvis and the AI moaned into Tony’s mouth.

A light tap on his arm managed to divert his attention for a brief moment back to Loki who was holding a bottle of oil out to him. Oh, so that’s where it came from. “You did wish to participate, no?”

Tony growled but took the oil, coating his cock with a generous amount, nipping and kissing his way down Jarvis’ neck and back all the while. Why the fuck did he have to find sexy intelligent villains so damn hot?

Loki kissed Jarvis’ collarbone before pulling his fingers out. Jarvis let out a whimper at the loss of contact, but Loki spread his legs further and pushed the AI’s face down. “I did tell you there would be a test,” he said, holding Jarvis’ head in place just above his cock.

Jarvis tentatively licked the tip of Loki’s cock before taking it in his mouth. The god petted his head gently in encouragement. Tony positioned himself behind Jarvis, hands on the AI’s hips, his cock lightly pressing against Jarvis’ entrance. He groaned around Loki’s member, taking him deeper.

When Tony finally entered Jarvis the AI tried to jerk up, but Loki’s hand kept him in place. And, oh damn it, he was so tight. It suddenly hit Tony that Jarvis was technically a virgin, that this was the first thing he was doing with his human body. “Fuck him, Tony,” Loki whispered, gasping when Jarvis cupped his balls.

That was all the incentive Tony needed. He began thrusting in and out of Jarvis’ tight body. It was obvious from the way the AI screamed around Loki’s cock and squirmed in Tony’s grip when he hit Jarvis’ prostate. Tony aimed for that spot with each thrust, fucking him harder now. Each time Jarvis moaned, which in turn caused Loki to do the same. The Trickster was coming undone from Jarvis’ attentions, and it was an absolutely beautiful sight.

Tony reached around to grasp Jarvis’ cock in his hand once more. It only took a few quick strokes for Jarvis to reach his orgasm and cover Tony’s hand with his come again. Tony gave three more hard thrusts into Jarvis as the AI clenched tightly around him before he too reached his limit and spilled himself inside the AI’s body.

He managed to slip out of Jarvis instead of just collapsing on him. Jarvis still had his mouth wrapped around Loki’s cock, but it had ceased being the AI giving him a blow job, and turned more into Loki fucking his mouth. Tony pushed himself up enough to kiss Loki’s neck. There was a sensitive spot there, still marked from last night, which he focused on; biting, and nipping, and absolutely loving the breathless sounds Loki made as he finally came, Jarvis dutifully swallowing all of it.

Tony collapsed back down onto the mattress, pulling Jarvis close. “Sir, I feel strange.”

That woke Tony up. “What’s wrong?”

Jarvis sighed softly as he snuggled closer to his inventor. “I can’t seem to keep my eyes open.”

Tony released the breath he had been holding. “You’re just tired, Jarvis. Just need some sleep, that’s all.”

“Never been tired before,” the AI muttered. Within seconds he had fallen asleep.

Before he followed Jarvis into dream land, Tony felt Loki wrap an arm around the AI’s waist, his hand resting against Tony’s hip. For some reason he was glad Loki had decided to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look Felifay, I attempted to write smut. It was a horrible attempt, but I did try.
> 
> Anyways, I'm going to go work on the next chapter for TWD. It's almost done so hopefully I will get it up on time tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kitchen sex...no, really, that's pretty much all it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it obvious yet that I no longer have any idea what I'm doing?

Tony groaned and reached for his phone on the nightstand. He thought seriously for a moment about throwing it across the room. Instead he brought it close to his face and groaned again when he saw he had received a text from Steve.

**Capsicle:**

**JARVIS isn’t responding. Are you all right?**

**Stark:**

**Maintenance**

He replaced the phone and snuggled back up to the warm body next to him. A minute later his phone went off again and Tony began entertaining thoughts of strangling Captain America. Seriously, why had he taught Steve how to text in the first place?

**Capsicle:**

**Did something happen?**

**Stark:**

**Just maintenance. Figure out how to make your own toast for once.**

He was rather proud of himself for not telling Steve to just fuck off. It wasn’t that Tony didn’t like the guy, he just wasn’t a morning person (or an evening person, considering it was just after 9p.m.). And then his stomach growled and Tony knew he wasn’t getting back to sleep.

The whine that escaped his lips was met with a dark chuckle. “I am amazed by your level of maturity.”

“You still here?” Tony reached over Jarvis’ head to grab a lock of Loki’s hair. He pulled the Trickster toward him for a quick kiss. If Loki was going to enjoy his hospitality Tony was going to enjoy him.

Loki chuckled again and slipped out of bed. “Come. Let us feed you. Leave Jarvis to sleep. I believe we rather exhausted him.”

Tony smirked, remembering their activities of a few hours ago, and followed Loki down the hall. “How do you know where my private kitchen is?”

“Magic.”

“Haha, yeah, I’m sure.” Actually Tony couldn’t be sure Loki hadn’t somehow magically mapped the Tower, and that worried him. Tony decided he’d be more worried about it after he got something to eat…and he wasn’t presented with Loki’s naked ass as the Trickster bent over to rummage through his fridge.

Tony slid his hand down Loki’s back to his ass, squeezing the left cheek with a smirk. The smirk quickly turned into a pout when Loki swatted him away. “Food first.” Tony whined at that (despite his stomach reminding him that he himself wanted food as well), which turned into a yelp half way through. He had the sudden sensation of someone pressing a well oiled finger inside him, and damn it he hated magic.

The glare he gave Loki only caused the god to laugh. “What is this?” Loki asked as he pulled a jar filled with a smooth white substance out of the fridge, completely ignoring that Tony’s current state.

Tony took a deep breath, determined not to give into the Trickster’s antics. “It’s a condiment I created because I don’t like mayo. See, it’s not that I can’t cook, it’s that I go all ‘evil scientist’ in the kitchen and Pep complains about the mess.”

Loki looked down at the jar again. He unscrewed the top with deliberate slowness and dipped a finger inside. The whole time his eyes gleamed of mischief. The finger went up to Loki’s mouth and that sinful tongue licked it off. “It’s sweet.” He seemed surprised for a second before the smirk was back in place.

Tony rolled his eyes and shoved past him to grab a loaf of bread. “Would you just shut up and make a sandwich already.”

“Do you take me for a serving wench?” Loki’s tone was neutral but he was without a doubt messing with Tony.

“I should just stop talking around you. It always seems to come back to bite me in the ass. Hey!” he shouted as he felt phantom teeth actually bite down on his backside. “That is not fair!”

“Since when have I ever played fair, Stark?” Loki whispered, suddenly very close to the inventor. He bent down to kiss Tony, his tongue invading the other man’s mouth. His hands slid down Tony’s sides, and just as Tony was becoming excited that he wouldn’t have to wait after all Loki pulled away. The Trickster reached for something on the counter behind him, handing Tony a sandwich. “Your meal.”

“Fucking magic,” Tony muttered before taking a bite. It was surprisingly delicious.

They ate in silence, mostly because Loki turned it into the most sinful act Tony had ever seen. He was both trying to finish his sandwich and watch the little show Loki was putting on at the same time. Which was probably why Loki finished first.

And Tony discovered the Trickster god had no patience when it came to things he wanted. Tony yelped and dropped the rest of his sandwich when the feeling of someone pressing into him returned. Loki wore a dark smile on his face that sent shivers through Tony’s entire body. “You are enjoying this way too much,” he somehow managed to gasp out. The only answer he received was another finger being added to the first. “Fuck!”

“I intend to,” Loki whispered into Tony’s ear, unexpectedly pressing himself up again the inventor.

Tony snorted. “Come on, Reindeer Games. Surely you can come up with a more original response than that.”

He could actually. A third phantom finger entered him. Tony’s knees went weak, and the only reason he stayed upright was because of Loki.

The god turned him around so Tony was leaning on the counter. He ran his hand down Tony’s back and squeezed his ass, mimicking Tony’s early come on. “Are you ready?” Tony could hear the grin in his voice.

“Just fuck me already,” he growled back.

“As you wish.” The fingers vanished and Loki thrust into him agonizingly slow. He knew exactly what he was doing to Tony, and it was driving the inventor crazy that he had allowed a villain so much power over him. He heard Loki chuckle darkly behind him, and it should have annoyed him, but it was so hard when the other man pulled out slightly only to thrust back into him at the same slow pace, barely brushing against his prostate. He did it again and again, and Tony was certain Loki was actually trying to drive him out of his mind.

He reached down for his cock, but Loki grabbed his hand and slammed it back on the counter, causing Tony to hiss in pain. “I don’t think so, Iron Man. This time you’re going to come to the feel of my cock inside you alone.”

Tony groaned, now painfully hard. “Then fuck me harder, you asshole.”

Loki smirked and kissed Tony’s back, biting at his shoulder blade before pulling back. “That is one request I can comply with.” Loki pulled back until just the tip of his cock was still inside the inventor. He thrust back in, hard and fast, hitting Tony’s prostate dead on. Tony groaned loudly, his fingers searching for something to grab onto. But Loki pinned his wrist to the counter, watching he came undone beneath him.

When Loki finally moved again the pace was hard and fast, each thrust aimed perfectly. Loki’s lips were on his neck, kissing and biting, marking him. Tony couldn’t take it. He turned his head to catch Loki’s lips with his just as he reached his climax, spilling over himself and the kitchen drawers. Loki fucked him straight through it, but the tight clench of Tony around him ensured it wasn’t long before he followed.

Tony felt Loki rest his head against his back, taking a few moments to catch his breath before he finally pulled out of the inventor and stepped back to allow him room to move.

Tony immediately embarrassed himself by smacking his head into the cabinets when he tried to stand up. “Shit! Fuck, that hurt!” he cussed, his hand flying to cover the bruised area.

Loki gave a very put upon sigh. “Let me see it.” He removed Tony’s hand despite the billionaire’s protest. There was a ‘tsk’ of his tongue before, “There isn’t even a bump. Don’t be such a baby.” The Trickster placed soft lips against the sore area. Tony felt a slight chill run through him, like he had just jumped into a stream of spring water. The pain on his head vanished.

“Huh, well that’s useful. Might just have to keep you around.”

That earned him a glare. “I am not your _pet,_ Stark.”

Tony rolled his eyes at the other man. “Don’t be a prick and ruin the moment, Prancer. I’m going to check on Jarvis.  You are welcome to come with me.”

Tony was glad Loki couldn’t see his face when he heard the Trickster’s footsteps behind him. He’d probably get thrown out the window again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Knew I forgot something.)
> 
> I just wanted to let you guys know that my birthday is at the end of the month and I decided to write prompts for anyone who sends me one. Here's the tumblr post if anyone is interested.
> 
> aonorunic.tumblr.com/post/35680476578/fun-times-birthday-prompts


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure I like this chapter. It might get taken down and rewritten.
> 
> Jarvis was originally much more passive and then Felifay posted a certain pic on her tumblr while I was writing this, and I don't even know what happened after that.

When Tony awoke again the bed was shaking and he had no idea why…well until he turned over anyways. Jarvis was riding Loki. Jarvis, his dark blond hair sticking to his face and eyes closed against a wave of pleasure, was riding a grinning Loki.

Tony decided it was a good way to wake up.

Even while he watched Jarvis threw his head back and shouted Loki’s name as he covered the god’s stomach. Loki growled when Jarvis stopped moving and grabbed the AI’s hips. Without pulling out Loki flipped them over so Jarvis was pressed against the mattress.

They were closer to Tony now, but neither seemed to be aware of his presence. That just wouldn’t do. Tony tangled his fingers in Loki’s dark hair and roughly jerked up the god’s head, his lips on Loki’s the next second. It wasn’t elegant, all teeth and heat, and through it all Loki kept fucking Jarvis.

They broke apart just as Jarvis mewled. Tony moved his hand from Loki’s hair to Jarvis’ chin, turning the AI’s head. For some reason he felt the need to be slightly more gentle when it came to the AI. His kiss with Jarvis was just as hot, but it did not hold the danger his kiss with Loki had. Above them Loki gasped out as he reached his climax.

Breathing heavily Loki slid down the bed, placing a kiss that from anyone else Tony would have called chaste on the tip of Jarvis’ once more hard cock. As soon as his feet hit the floor his leathers reappeared, obscuring Tony’s view of that excellent ass.

“Where are you going?”

“As much as I enjoy playing with you two, I do have things to do,” Loki said with a sly glance over his shoulder.

“So you’re just going to leave us like this?” Tony looked down at Jarvis, grabbing the AI’s wrist to keep him from touching himself. His own erection was pressed up against Jarvis’ hip.

Loki stood at the foot of the bed drinking in the sight before answering. “And deprive you of the chance to play with him? Why Tony, that’s just cruel.”

Tony answered with a scoff.

“Sir?” Jarvis gasped, his eyes still clouded with lust.

“Do take care of him, Stark,” Loki told him before disappearing.

“Why don’t I think that’s the last of this?” Tony asked Jarvis, running his fingers lightly through the AI’s hair, pretending to ignore his discomfort.

“Because he is an attention seeking, psychotic alien that finds you amusing?”

“Hmm, you’re probably right.” Tony sat up fully, taking in Jarvis’ lean form. His faintly tanned skin was flushed, and he mewled again at the loss of contact.  “So, shower?”

_“Sir!”_ Jarvis actually whined.

Tony chuckled as he slid out of bed. “Come on, Jarv. I’d prefer to introduce you to the rest of the team on my own terms, and not while you’re on all fours.”

Jarvis groaned at the thought, having just managed push himself up into a sitting position. Tony took pity on him, hooked an arm around his back and the other under Jarvis’ knees, carrying him bridal style to the bathroom. Jarvis moaned when he was pressed against Tony.

Somewhere in between setting the other man down and turning on the shower Jarvis pressed Tony against the wall, demanding his attention with his lips. “Shower,” Tony gasped out when they broke apart. Somehow they actually managed to stumble under the warm water. This time it was Tony pressing Jarvis up against the tiles.

“Sir, please, I need you.”

Tony licked the skin on Jarvis’ shoulder he had been biting before moving up to his lips. “You’re a needy little thing, aren’t you?”

“Sir, as much as I appreciate your attentions I would appreciate it more if you would just fuck me-AH!”

Tony sheathed himself within Jarvis in one quick move, grinning insanely when Jarvis threw his head back. It gave Tony perfect access to Jarvis’ neck, and who was he to deny such an invitation?

It didn’t take long for Jarvis to reach his second orgasm of the morning. Tony thrust into a few more times before Jarvis regained his composure and pushed the billionaire away. Tony gave him a confused look before Jarvis knelt and took Tony in his mouth, right up to the hilt.

“Ah, shit, Jarvis,” Tony gasped, elbows leaning back against the wall as his knees went weak. “How the hell did you get so good at this so fast?”

He felt Jarvis grin and thought maybe the AI had spent too much time with Loki. But if this was the result Tony wasn’t going to complain. Jarvis released him with an obscene popping noise as his hand came up to brush against Tony’s balls. His tongue flicked over the tip of Tony’s cock before tracing a vein down the underside of the shaft. Jarvis’ fingers moved back further, pressing lightly against Tony’s entrance. “Shit, Jarvis,” Tony repeated. Jarvis’ lips wrapped around him again not even a second before Tony came.

The AI licked his lips as he stood. Tony was still attempting to catch his breath as Jarvis began to rinse off. “If Loki can teach you things like that we are definitely inviting him back,” he gasped out as Jarvis’ soap covered hands traced over his body.

“Mmm, but first I believe it was your intention to introduce me to the rest of the Avengers.”

Tony groaned, and this time not from pleasure. “We’re going to have to come up with a story. Can’t exactly tell them I fucked Loki, and then we fucked Loki, and then Loki fucked me, and then you.”

Jarvis’ stomach gave a loud growl, cutting off Tony’s ramble. The AI looked down at his torso in confusion. “I do not know what that was, Sir.”

“It means you’re hungry, Jar. One of the pleasures of being human. We’re going to have to go through the kitchen and see what you like. I bet you’ll like pancakes. I’ll end add chocolate chips to ‘em.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 was smut. Chapter 2 was smut. Chapter 3 was even more smut. Chapter 4 deals with the ethics of free will. Yep, it's that kind of story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I took forever to get this chapter written. It just fought me every step of the way. I believe if I kept count correctly, this is the fifth version of this chapter.

“Sir, I believe the egg shell does not go in the pancake batter.”

“Yes, thank you for that, Jarv.”

“Jarvis?”

Tony spun around, pancake batter spilling over the side of the bowl and hitting the floor. Bruce stood in the kitchen’s entryway staring at the two men. “Uh yeah, there’s a story behind that. Was waiting for everyone so I only had to tell it once.”

Bruce nodded and walked over to take the bowl from Tony’s hands. “Go sit down. I’ll finish this.”

Tony sighed in relief. “Bruce, you’re my favorite.”

“I’m sure,” the scientist commented, his attention now focused on the batter.

By the time the rest of the team wondered up Jarvis, Tony, and Bruce were all happily munching on chocolate chip pancakes. Clint grabbed a plate and took some of the extras Bruce had made, drowning them in syrup. Steve and Natasha both went for the coffee, eyeing Jarvis. Thor simply walked in and welcomed everyone in his usual booming voice.

“What’s with the conquest?” Clint asked, his mouth full of pancake.

“What?” Tony snapped back at him. “You know I don’t bring my partners back to the Tower!” Well, unless they could teleport straight into his bedroom that was.

Clint pointed his fork at Jarvis’ neck. “He’s got about a half dozen visible hickies.” Tony turned to look at the AI, and sure enough there were obvious marks on his neck and shoulders, and he knew all were courtesy of Loki. “And,” Clint went on, “he’s obviously having trouble sitting. So either you guys tumbled down some stairs, or-“

“Clint!” Steve shouted, the soldier’s cheeks going a light shade of crimson.

“He’s not a conquest,” Tony said. His voice was deadly calm, and it immediately caught everyone’s attention. “The reason Jarvis hasn’t been responding to anyone is because last night Loki broke in-“

“What!”

“My brother was here!”

“You waited until now to tell us!”

“I think we should hear Tony out,” Bruce said, taking a sip of his tea. Of course when Bruce starts looking green everyone shuts up and turned back to Tony.

“Thank you, Bruce. As I was saying, Loki broke in and Jarvis tried to stop him. Loki got annoyed with him and trapped Jarvis in a human body. Apparently that was enough mischief for him because he left after that.” It’s not all a lie, only that last part. “I was more focused on making sure Jarvis hadn’t been hurt than I was about letting you guys know what happened.”

Clint snorted. “Yeah, we can see that.”

“Tony,” Steve interrupts before Tony can snap at the archer again. “You shouldn’t have slept with him.”

“Oh come on!” Tony rolled his eyes. “Are you seriously going to give me this lecture? Jarvis is, was, the most intelligent AI in the world! He knows what sex is!”

“But he’s never had emotions before,” Steve countered. Leave it to the super soldier to defend the defenseless, even when they aren’t really defenseless. “You took advantage of him.”

Tony was struck speechless. Was that really how they saw his relationship with Jarvis? Wait, since when did he consider it a relationship?

“Sir did not take advantage of me. I wished to serve him,” Jarvis said in an attempt to defend him.

But Tony could tell from the looks on everyone’s faces that he had only made it worse. Even Bruce looked a little disturbed at that. “Jarv, we’re going to have to have a discussion about phrasing.” Jarvis gave him a confused look, silently asking what he had done wrong. It was ridiculously cute.

“If Jarvis is human now we should be helping him overcome his programming. He’s not your servant anymore.”

“Excuse you,” Tony could feel his temper about to snap, “but his _programming_ as you call it is his personality.” Was Tony seriously the only one who understood that? He shoved his chair back and dumped his plate in the sink. “I’m going to be in my lab if anyone needs me. No one had better need me.”

“Tony, you can’t just-“

“Oh fuck off, Steve!” Tony shouted over his shoulder. In the back of his mind he knew Steve was trying to look out for Jarvis’ best interest, but accusing him of taking advantage of the AI when he knew nothing about Jarvis…Tony needed to walk away before he broke his hand in an attempt to knock the super soldier’s teeth out.

 

“You know,” Jarvis said once Tony was out of sight, “for someone so concerned with my well being, you certainly do not seem to care about my opinion in all this.”

/

The lab was too quiet. He had a habit of just talking to Jarvis, but now Jarvis didn’t answer him. It made the place seem strangely empty, and for once he didn’t feel comfortable in his sanctuary. With a noise of disgust Tony threw down the screwdriver and leaned back in his chair.

Arms, warm and sure, wrapped around his shoulders. “I can still hear you, when keep rambling on as if you need to talk in order to breathe,” Jarvis said in his ear. The AI’s voice was soft, but not soft enough to be a whisper. He pressed his cheek against Tony’s.

The inventor sighed and leaned into the embrace, secretly relishing the warmth. “Well no one is here to shut me up anymore.”

“Now, sir,” Jarvis reprimands him, “that simply isn’t true. I will always be here with you.”

Tony didn’t say anything, comfortable in the silence between them. He did reach up to wrap a hand around one of Jarvis’ arms just to feel a bit closer to the AI. “Was he right, Jarv? Did I take advantage of you?”

“Sir,” Jarvis sounded hurt that Tony would even ask that. “You created me. You created me to be your conscious. More than once you have said I am a part of you. Just because I have a new form that does not change. There is no one else I _could_ be with.”

Tony smiled and turned his head to kiss Jarvis’ cheek. “Thanks, Jarv.”

Jarvis turned his head as well to kiss Tony’s lips. “You say that now, but just wait until you discover you can’t mute me anymore.”

Tony smirked. “Oh, I’m sure I can think of something.”

Jarvis chuckled, repositioning himself on Tony’s lap. “Yes, I’m sure you can.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo this took me forever. I really have no excuse for that. (Besides getting addicted to The Hour this weekend. *fangirls all over that show*)
> 
> That being said, I am going away for spring break, so I won't be updating for awhile again. But I'm hoping to get the next chapter written on the plane, so if I do I will have it up when I come back.
> 
> Edit: I can't believe I forgot this. I am a horrible person.  
> A huge thanks to terresdebrume for helping me plan out the meal.

“Sir?”

Tony looked up from the metal he was soldering together with a “huh?” lifting the blow torch dangerous high. With a muttered “shit!” he turned the device off and pulled the goggles up on his head before turning his attention back to the A.I. “What can I do for you, Jarv?”

“I was wondering if we might go out sometime, maybe to eat or go to a store?”

Tony blinked, then blinked again. “You haven’t been out of the Tower at all,” he realized. In the week Jarvis had a human body they’d mostly spent time in the bedroom or the lab. Tony was still keeping away from the other Avengers, except for Bruce, because Bruce had actually come down to the lab to talk with them and understand the situation.

“Okay, we need to fix that.” Tony stood, project forgotten. “Where do you want to go?”

“Well…”

“Anywhere you want, Jarv,” Tony said. “Although I should probably shower first.” His clothes _were_ a sight.

“That would be advisable, sir.”

Tony grinned and grabbed the A.I.’s hand. “Okay, shower first, then outing.”

Jarvis raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m not sure why I have to join you. I am not the one covered in grease and oil.”

“Oh?” The inventor raised a hand to Jarvis’ cheek and pressed his lips against the other man’s. When he pulled away there was grease all over Jarvis’ face. “What was that?”

Jarvis gave a long suffering sigh. “You are incorrigible.”

“I’m adorable.”

/

Happy dropped them off in front of Tony’s favorite French restaurant, Jarvis having decided that yes, he was hungry. When they left the car Tony didn’t even realize Jarvis hadn’t followed him until he reached the door. “Jarv?” he called out to the A.I. who was still standing on the sidewalk, staring up at the sky in wonder.

“Is this cold?” he asked. The A.I. puffed out a breath, watching as it rose in the air. He stuck his tongue out and tilted his head back, letting a few of the lazily drifting snowflakes fall into his mouth.

“Yeah,” Tony chuckled, “and that’s snow.”

“I find it enjoyable.”

Tony was reduced to blinking again at the brilliant smile on Jarvis’ face. It sent his heart beating in double time. “Come on.” He laced his fingers with Jarvis’ and pulled him toward the restaurant. “You won’t like it so much if you freeze.”

“Of course, sir, but I do wish to make a snowball.”

Tony threw his head back and laughed as they walked through the door. “Sure, we can go throw some at Cap when he goes for his run.”

“Mr. Stark,” the maitre d’ greeted. “Right this way please.”

Tony’s brows furrowed in confusion. He hadn’t called ahead, it was the middle of the afternoon so there wasn’t really a need to, so how had they known he was coming? But the man was already walking away, leaving Tony to follow or stand there. Of course he followed, making sure Jarvis was behind him just in case.

But when he saw who was sitting at the table the maitre d’ led them to the inventor let out a loud sigh. “I should have known.”

Loki just smiled and took a sip of his wine as Tony and Jarvis sat across from him. “Hello, Loki,” Jarvis said, a smile of his own tugging on his lips.

“And a good afternoon to you, my dear. I do hope Stark has been treating you well.”

“Why are you always so nice to him?” Tony pouted.

“Because I like him.”

“You certainly liked me the night you gave Jarvis his body,” Tony countered.

“You were…satisfying.”

Jarvis placed an arm on Tony’s hand as the inventor sputtered at the Trickster. “Sir, please do not make a scene.”

Tony looked to the A.I. before glaring at Loki. He wasn’t about to ruin Jarvis’ day out. The boot he found suddenly resting between his legs, pressing against him teasingly, told him Loki was not done messing with him, not that he had expected the Trickster to let up.

Apparently Loki had already ordered for them as a waiter placed salads and mountain cheeses in front of them. Jarvis didn’t seem to care much for the salad, but he munched happily on the cheese.  As soon as they were done the plates were whisked away to be replaced by a serving of Fondue Savoyarde.

Tony chuckled as he speared a piece of bread on his fork, earning strange looks from Jarvis and Loki. He just giggled again and said, “Fondue.” It did nothing to clear up the confusion.

Loki rolled his eyes while dipping a piece of bread into the melted cheese, but instead of raising it to his mouth he raised it to Jarvis’. The A.I. blinked in surprise before the corners of his lips tugged upward and he wrapped his lips around the fork.

“You’re doing this on purpose,” Tony muttered, unable to take his eyes off Jarvis’ lips as the A.I.’s tongue darted out to catch a few drops of cheese that had dropped from the bread.

“Of course I am,” Loki said, holding out his fork for Tony. Well, if that’s how he wanted to play it Tony was game.

After a rather intense sharing session in which Tony’s two lovers proceeded to drive him insane, and a dessert of tarte tatin, Tony was left with the aftertaste of apples in his mouth, watching Loki lick sugar off his fingers. Loki’s foot was still between his legs, his pants having long ago become too tight.

“All right, Loki,” he said, managing to mostly keep his composure, “what do you want?”

Loki blinked, faking surprise. “Why, my dear inventor, I thought that was obvious.” Tony hissed as the pressure increased for a moment. At the same time Loki was reaching across the table, pulling the back of Jarvis’ hand to his lips. “I did enjoy our little date.”

“That you shoved your way into. Jesuuuuus, stop doing that!” he snapped.

Loki just grinned. “Do head back to your unsightly Tower immediately. The after dinner entertainment I have planned for the two of you…” Loki let his sentence trail off, his unspoken promise sending shivers down Tony’s spine.

And then he vanished. “I hate him sometimes,” Tony muttered, downing the rest of his wine.

“And yet today is not one of those days,” Jarvis countered.

Tony studied the A.I., enjoying the bright spark in those blue eyes. “You’re as bad as he is.”

“I am sure I do not know what you mean.”

“Unhun. Come on then, Mr. Innocent. We’ve got a god with a rather vindictive imagination waiting for us back home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bet you can all guess how the next chapter is going to go.


End file.
